Ghosting – the abrupt disappearance of a partner or date without explanation – has become a defining phenomenon of modern dating. While often framed as a “young people problem,” it is increasingly encountered by people of all ages, both as recipients and as those who choose to step away. Understanding ghosting requires looking beyond moral judgements towards context, choice and the inherent ambiguity of modern communication.
Whichever side you are on, ghosting is rarely healthy. It can be painful to do it, and devastating to have it done to you. As human beings navigating the digital age – with dating apps, instant messaging, and constant online visibility – it is easy to forget that those who ghost us are still very much alive and well. This can lead to anxiety, avoidance and a tendency to shut ourselves off from allowing real connection and love into our lives.
While ghosting can affect anyone, it is most often portrayed as a challenge for younger generations. Yet what about those who grew up without social media and now find themselves navigating the darker sides of digital dating? For those entering or re-entering the dating scene in later adulthood, learning to cope with ghosting in a world of instant visibility and perpetual connection presents a wholly new set of emotional challenges.
Juan Korkie, clinical psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre in Dubai, says ghosting is deeply influenced by the way we communicate online. “Ghosting has become a convenient label for silence in modern dating, but the idea itself is more problematic than it first appears. The moment we use the word, we frame the interaction as unilateral: something was done to someone. That framing already rests on an assumption that often goes unexamined – that people are obliged to engage, to respond, and to explain themselves clearly and on time.”
Features like read receipts, online activity indicators and instant messaging notifications have amplified expectations that did not exist in pre-digital dating. In the past, disengagement was subtle: phone calls went unanswered, invitations ceased, and interactions naturally faded. “Treating every instance of disengagement as a failure to communicate imposes a moral obligation that has never really existed.”
Statistics illustrate that ghosting is not confined to younger generations. According to Pew Research, approximately 29 per cent of adults report having been ghosted, with 21 per cent of adults aged 50 to 64 experiencing it. Nearly half of all singles admit to ghosting someone themselves. These figures show that ghosting is a shared phenomenon – shaped more by digital culture than by age.
“Much of the current conversation also assumes that ghosting is especially damaging for people over 40. That claim is often treated as obvious, but there is little solid evidence showing that the underlying psychological processes are fundamentally different by age,” explains Korkie. “What does change is the story told about it. Midlife daters are cast as more fragile, more insecure, more undone by ambiguity. That narrative says more about cultural anxiety around ageing and dating than it does about silence itself.”
Research reinforces Korkie’s view: the discomfort caused by ghosting stems primarily from vagueness, not age. Studies show that uncertainty prolongs negative emotional responses more than direct rejection, as the mind continues to search for closure. Individuals with a high need for certainty are particularly affected, which explains variation in responses far more than age alone.
However, ghosting is not a one-way street. Women dating after 40 are both affected by and engage in it “Disengagement doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Someone may choose not to engage because the interaction feels overwhelming, intrusive, too intense, or simply misaligned. Once the label of ghosting is applied, that entire relational field drops out of view,” Korkie explains. Older women with greater clarity about their needs and boundaries often make these decisions intentionally. Stepping away from a connection that does not align with priorities is a considered choice, not a moral failing.
In Dubai and across the UAE, online dating has grown rapidly, shaped by a unique cultural and digital environment. According to local reports, around 22 per cent of UAE users share personal details with matches within minutes, creating situations where interactions can escalate quickly and fade just as abruptly.
Safety and privacy are also central concerns: about half of online daters in the UAE have experienced cybersecurity issues after connecting digitally. These factors shape how women interpret sudden silence – whether as caution, misalignment or digital retreat.
Cultural norms around privacy, trust and intention further influence interactions. Traditional expectations about commitment can make abrupt digital disengagement feel heavier than a casual swipe, while apps tailored to local values reflect ongoing attempts to balance modern dating with cultural sensibilities. In an online study conducted by MOJEH, local voices shared that conversations that start promisingly often fade, leaving women trying to interpret whether silence signals disinterest or simply a mismatch in communication style.
Korkie emphasises the importance of perspective: “The distress linked to ghosting is about ambiguity. Silence leaves room for interpretation, and interpretation invites self-questioning. But ambiguity is not the same as injury, and non-engagement is not the same as an attack.”
For women dating after 40, this insight means recognising that disengagement is often the other person’s choice, not a reflection of personal value. Understanding context, setting expectations early, and interpreting silence without internalising blame allows women to engage with modern dating on their own terms.
Dating after 40 may involve uncertainty and sudden silence, but ghosting is not a measure of fragility or failure. It is part of a relational ecosystem shaped by communication norms, personal choice, and the inherent ambiguity of human interaction. Women navigating this stage bring experience, self-awareness and clarity to these situations, interpreting silence thoughtfully and choosing disengagement when appropriate.
